Caritas Pathways

Where the Heart of Caring Science Supports Compassionate Connection, Mindful Presence, and True Dignity

Being with the Dying: What an End-of-Life Doula Really Does

At the end of life, the person who is dying remains the truest center of care. Their body, mind, and spirit carry a lifetime of experiences—and their final days are still their own. Hospice nurses, aides, social workers, chaplains, doulas, and loved ones all form a team of support, yet everything begins with the individual and what matters most to them.

Hospice nurses work with extraordinary skill to manage symptoms, coordinate medications, and communicate with physicians. These medical needs require careful attention and often fill much of a nurse’s time. A doula complements this care by focusing on the human presence that clinical tasks can sometimes crowd out—offering education, companionship, and the steady comfort of simply sitting nearby. Grounded in Jean Watson’s Caritas philosophy of human caring, a doula’s work honors the basic needs we all share: to be heard, to be comforted, and to be treated with dignity.

Listening to the Person, Not Just the Illness

Every person carries a unique story. As life nears its close, many feel an inner pull to reflect, to speak, or to rest in silence. A doula creates a safe, unhurried space for those expressions to unfold naturally. Gentle questions—What feels important to you today? Do you sense any changes in your body? Is there anything you still hope to say or do?—invite the dying person to share their own experience of this threshold, without pressure or expectation.

Some may wish to talk openly about their sense of time, about feeling close to death, or about things left undone. Others may simply want someone to notice the rise and fall of their chest and match their breathing in quiet companionship. Whether through words or silence, the focus remains on what they need in the moment.

Honoring Wishes, Large and Small

Comfort often lives in details that reflect personal choice. Together we explore:

• Do they prefer quiet or the sound of gentle music?
  
  

• Should the room feel warm and cozy or cool and airy?
  
  

• Would they like frequent touch, or do they find touch overwhelming?
  
  

• Are there particular scents, prayers, or objects that bring peace?
  
  

These questions are not about controlling death—they are about preserving agency and personhood, even as the body grows weaker. By listening deeply and collaborating with the hospice team, a doula helps ensure that each wish, from lighting a favorite candle to arranging a final visit, is honored whenever possible.

Care as a Circle

Families and loved ones are part of this circle, offering love and continuity. Hospice professionals bring medical expertise. The doula weaves in presence and gentle coordination, helping everyone stay centered on the patient’s needs and values. Together, we create a tapestry of support where comfort, dignity, and peace are not afterthoughts but guiding principles.

A Sacred Time

Dying is both a profoundly personal and profoundly shared experience. When care begins with the person at the center, every breath, memory, and connection takes on meaning. Whether through a quiet conversation, a deep breath matched in rhythm, or the simple act of bearing witness, no one has to travel this path unseen or unheard.

Written by Victoria Fanning, Founder, A Sacred Journey, LLC

The Gift of Presence: Why Simply Sitting Matters at the End of Life

When someone we love is nearing the end of life, it’s natural to want to help, to fix, or to somehow make it easier. We often look for the right thing to say or do. But what I’ve come to see, time and again, is that the greatest gift isn’t found in doing—it’s in simply being there.

Presence carries a quiet kind of power. Just sitting nearby, breathing in the same space, reminds the one who is dying that they are not alone—that their life still matters, right up until the very last moment.

The Power of Just Being There

Being present is more than showing up in body. It’s bringing an open heart, a calm spirit, and the willingness to simply be with what is. Sometimes there are no words that feel right. And that’s okay. A hand resting gently on theirs, a soft smile, the silence of shared time together—these are often what bring the deepest comfort.

“I Don’t Know What to Say…”

So many people tell me this. And the truth is, there really aren’t perfect words. Most of the time, words aren’t what’s needed at all. What matters most is your presence. It speaks louder than anything you could say: I’m here. You’re not alone.

Creating a Gentle Space

When you sit quietly with someone at the end of life, you help create a kind of sacred space. Not in a formal way, but in the simple way of being fully present—setting aside distractions, slowing down, and giving your attention completely to that moment.

This kind of presence brings peace. It’s a way of saying: you matter to me, and I am here with you now.

For Families and Friends

If you’re sitting with someone you love, remember—you don’t have to have answers. You don’t have to be strong or wise or know exactly what to do. Just your being there is enough. That is love in its purest form.

For Me, as an End-of-Life Doula

In my work, I’ve seen again and again how presence changes the experience—not just for the person who is dying, but for the ones who love them. Families often tell me later that it was the simple moments—the quiet sitting, the gentle holding of hands—that they remember most.

It’s a reminder that presence doesn’t just ease the dying. It brings healing to the living, too.

✨ At the heart of it, presence is love. To sit quietly, open-hearted, with someone at the end of life is to honor their journey and remind them that they are not alone.

With warmth,
Victoria
Founder, A Sacred Journey, LLC

Welcome to A Sacred Journey

In my early elementary years, I can still remember this deep inner feeling—though at the time I had no idea it was something people called a “calling.” What I felt was simple and yet so big: one day, I would be someone who did for people. I couldn’t explain it, but it was woven into me even as a little girl.

As the years passed, that quiet knowing grew. It was during my nursing career that I truly began to understand the depth of what it meant to serve. While healthcare changed continuously around me—policies, procedures, systems that often seemed to overlook the human heart—I found that I hadn’t changed. My way of being with people remained the same.

I stayed present.
I listened.
I cared.
I offered respect, dignity, and a healing touch.

These are not small things. In fact, they are often the very things that matter most.

My journey as an end-of-life doula is simply a continuation of this truth: that each person’s final season of life deserves presence, gentleness, and sacred care. My hope is that through A Sacred Journey, I can offer families more than support—I can offer companionship, guidance, and a safe place to rest in one of life’s most tender chapters.

This space, and this blog, will be a place for me to share reflections, resources, and the quiet lessons I’ve learned from walking alongside the dying and those who love them. It is my way of inviting you into the heart of my work, and perhaps, into your own reflections on life, love, and what truly matters.

Thank you for being here. I am honored to share this journey with you.

With warmth,
Victoria Fanning
Founder, A Sacred Journey